Hard to believe 8 years ago I was a scared 19 yr old laying in a hospital bed trying to time my contractions that I didn't feel! Hard to believe that less than 24 hrs later, I was holding this itty bitty baby in my arms! I dont remember a lot, but I will try to write it out here before I forget everything! I remember going to the Dr's office on Dec 4th, 2002 and her telling me that I was 3cm and that she "stripped my mebranes" and that I needed to continue following the "rules" I had been given a month before. 1. No lifting over 5 lbs 2. no standing/walking for long periods. 3. no squatting I'm sure the Dr had told me more! She also said that I could have her anyday, eventhough I was still two weeks away from my "due date". Anyway, I got home and since it was the begin of December, i was helping my Grandma decorate for Christmas. I hung lights on the front porch, even standing on the step stool, yep I'm that hard-headed..., I ended the afternoon by sitting in the front yard putting stakes in the ground for some cute snowmen lights she had. This required me to sit for a few min, get up and move a foot down the path and sit down again...Later that night (7ish) I was watching TV with my grandma and my back started to hurt. I mentioned it to grandma and told her I might have overdone it that afternoon decorating. I got up and wlked a bit and the pain went away...only to come back again a few min later...took Grandma putting her hand on my belly to realize I was having contractions! We called my mom at work and told her she might want to head home to take me in and then called the hospital and they said I should come in as we were timing them at 2-3 min apart. I was admitted to the hospital around 8:30 that night. I was still at 3 so the nurses called my Dr and she wanted me to stay overnight and she would check on me in the morning, if not before. since nothing was happening, my mom left me there (alone and scared since I had never been in a hospital except to visit family) and went home to sleep. At 3 am, they woke me up and moved me to a different room. I saw my Dr at about 9 am. She checked me and I was still at 3! She said she was going to grab some breakfast and would be back to break my water. (she had been up most of the night delivering 4 other babies (thats why I had to switch rooms!) ) She returned around 10:30, broke my water and started some pitocin. My neighbor and good friend came to visit me and talked me through a few contractions that I could only feel in the back and a little tightening in my stomach. They checked my at 12:30 and I was at 9 so they moved me back to a delivery room and I started pushing around 1:15 or so and Jody entered the world at 1:40 pm. She was itty bitty thing at 6 lbs 11 oz and 18 1/4 inches. I held her for a few minutes, then they took her to clean her up and I just wanted to eat! They brought me a wonderful platter of fruit and I ate everything, even though I didnt like it, I was starving! They moved me back to my room and brought my little girl to me and I kept her with me until 11 pm! They finally took her to the nursery so I could try to sleep! I was in love with her instantly! today she is still a littl thing, barely 50 lbs and mayb 45 inches tall! We we so young and there were plenty of people who thought we had done ourselves in and that we would never make it, well here is a glimpse at our lives today:
We are very forunate that Mark has a wonderful job that allowed me to be able to stay home with her from the time she was 18 months old until she was 4! We are less than a year away from getting married, we are getting ready to start looking at houses and looking forward to start trying for baby #2 (and last). We make have taken a road less desired for some and one that some see as wrong, but it worked for us. I believe we are more in love today than we have ever been! Has it been easy? of course not, we had times that were tough and we wondered if we were going to make ends meet, but we somehow managed!
Tomorrow, we will celebrate her birthday as a family, we will probably take her out ro lunch or dinner and the day will consist of activities she wants to do. She is the light of my life and will forever be my itty bitty baby girl!
A Freeing Realization about Suffering
5 months ago